Listening Skills

Listening is probably the most under-valued and under-used skill people have. We are all quick to speak but, how much do we really listen?

Listening is a process that requires understanding and takes practice to do it well.

Hearing: really putting attention and focusing on what the other person is saying to be able to understand.

Understanding: processing what you heard and being able to repeat it back in your own words.

Rationalizing: making sense of what you understood.

What it takes to be a good listener

• Give your full attention to the person who is speaking. Don't look at what else is going on around you.
• Focus your mind. It’s easy to let your mind wander and get distracted from the person that is speaking. Actively work on focusing on what the speaker is saying.
• Allow the speaker to finish before you begin talking. If you interrupt it may look like you are not interested in what they are saying.
• Finish listening before you begin thinking. If you are busy thinking what you are going to say next, you can’t actively listen. Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech and if your mind takes off on elaborating ideas you are going to miss the speaker’s words.
• Listen so you understand the context and main idea of what the speaker is saying.
• Ask clarifying questions, especially if you think you may not have gotten the entire meaning of what the speaker was saying.

Check out Mind Tools for more on Active Listening Skills